Looking After Your Bridesmaids and Groomsmen

What to do if you have bridesmaids, how to involve children and what to give them.


Whilst it’s an honor to be chosen as a bridesmaid, there is always that age old fear that a horrible dress will be provided.

Everyone is different, and your bridesmaids are no exception. It doesn’t matter how close you are, they will still have some different ideas about what is stylish and what suits them. This will vary with age, height and size.

A good way to please all of your maids and make sure they all look good is to pick a color that suits your theme, and then allow them to choose their own style of dress. Some dress shops sell bridesmaid dresses that can be worn in different ways to suit different body shapes, but come in the exact same colors.

If you are a more mature bride, you may wish to have a matron of honor or best woman at your side, rather than the quite young sounding ‘bridesmaids’.

If you choose to have young children as part of your wedding party, you must make sure that they are willing to participate, so you know they will enjoy it. It’s a good idea to give them an activity pack, or provide them will special tasks and praise them so they feel special and important. If you already have children, it’s nice to have them involved in your day. Young children can be flower girls or pageboys and ring bears, whilst teenage children might do a reading, or a daughter could be a bridesmaid whilst a son gives his mother away.

Some people choose to exclude particularly young children from weddings, but it’s best not to do this if they are your own children; they may not understand why they are not a part of their parents’ big day.

If you have teenaged bridesmaids, it’s best to sit them with their families at the wedding breakfast. They are too old to sit on a children’s table, and may find it quite offensive, but could feel isolated sitting at the top table or with other bridesmaids they don’t know.

It is traditional to give members of the wedding party such as bridesmaids and groomsmen gifts to thank them for participating and helping. It’s a nice idea to have the gift personalized. You could give the bridesmaids necklaces with their initials or names on, and engraved tankards or hipflasks for the (older) groomsmen.

Even though it’s your big day, your bridesmaids will still want and have the right to look their very best, so arrange for everyone to get their hair and make-up done together, or to participate in a pampering session. It will make everyone feel special and help those who might not know anyone get to know each other better.


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